What If Men Could Get Pregnant

SHOW-ME-STATE MISSOURI

On Sunday, little known Rep. Todd Akin (R-Mo.), who is running against Sen. Claire McCaskill for the Missouri Senate seat, upheld his longstanding position that abortion should be illegal even if the woman was raped. According to Akin women who are the victims of “legitimate rape” don’t usually become pregnant because the female body has “biological defenses” that prevent rape victims from getting pregnant. Of course this outrageous claim caused an uproar that reverberated throughout the nation. If Akin wasn’t known beyond the show-me-state before, he’s definitely known all over the map now and by most reports not in a good way.

You don’t have to be a Rhodes Scholar to get the implication of Akin’s position which is simply this: If you were raped and became pregnant, you must have actually wanted it—it wasn’t really rape. REALLY?

That there are ignoramuses out there seeking to categorize rape, Legitimate Rape, Forcible Rape, Statutory Rape, for political reasons got me to thinking. What if men could become pregnant? If men could get pregnant I wonder if they would use what should clearly be a woman’s right to choose as a political football. Kicking around a subject of which they have no firsthand knowledge. Apparently ignoramuses equate rape with having sex – either the woman wanted it or didn’t.

According to Akin ‘doctors’ advised him that a woman’s body “could shut that whole thing down”. I suppose if the woman was ovulating at the time of the rape, a force field would magically surround the egg and shield it from the rapist’s evil sperm. Only someone backed by ‘low information’ constituents and could never get pregnant would actually say something that dumb out loud on television.

Of course Rep Akin apologized the next day. He sooo sorry he misspoke. He meant to say ‘Forcible Rape’ not ‘Legitimate Rape’ being that rape can’t just be rape. That would make it too darn easy for those who are hell bent on killing babies, not to mention using taxpayers to fund their evil doing.

There is such a thing as Statutory Rape and it must not be lumped in there with violent rape. I suppose all cases of Statutory Rape could be classified as consensual. Just don’t tell that to all those long suffering men, just innocent little boys under duress, Jerry Sandusky and Catholic priests the world over raped.

I mean just imagine if men could become pregnant and young boys raped since the beginning of time had ended up ‘with child’ how different the issues of rape and abortion would be today. I for one believe abortions would be as readily available as wellness checkups. Unwanted pregnancies would be taken care of discreetly, with nary a thought about egg and sperm merging and what constitutes a live being, i.e. ‘personhood’, by simply popping a pill. And if the unwanted pregnancy progressed beyond the popping pill stage why a man could choose to walk into his doctor’s office and have the matter taken care of with dignity.

If only men could get pregnant. I wish someone would make a movie about it. Have this parallel universe where men got pregnant. Either the female would impregnate the man or vice-versa. It would be a game of chance where both could become pregnant or maybe one could be on birth control or both could be until such time they chose to start a family. For added drama a portion of the movie would be devoted to some guy who had gotten pregnant during a rape. I think such a movie would be awesome. I definitely would stand in line to see it.

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